Sexy
by Synvamp
Summary: Zoro x Sanji - Zoro notices that Sanji had been paying him a lot more attention lately... this could be a lot of fun XD Teasing!Zoro and Horny!Sanji - Part 1 of 2
1. Chapter 1

Sanji's been caught out. The swordsman didn't know why the cook was staring all the time but he's just figured it out.  
>Zoro could tell Sanji that he feels the same way: he could give the cook a nice coming out party and then screw his brains out - but where would be the fun in that? Aside from the screwing part. That sounded ok.<br>He didn't really want to play with Sanji and mess with him sexually… but it was just so _easy._  
>And did I mention fun? Lots of fun.<p>

-xxx-

Zoro looked at himself in the mirror.

Sexy.

He had to look sexy.

_Hmmm._

He was wearing nothing but a pair of black pants and, of course, his beloved swords.

His skin glowed in the morning light, which was streaming through the windows and drenching the boards of the cabin floor.

He looked at his body with detached calm, his eyes wandering across the familiar frame. His favourite parts – the broad shoulders, the thick wrists, the defined forearms and his least favourite – his hips, which were just a bit too narrow to be the perfect solid base for winding multiple sword attacks.

He had marked this body with his life and truly made it his. Aside from the earrings and the swords - which were his adornments - it was scarred and bulky with muscle, showing the long years he had spent becoming stronger. His body gave out all the right signals. He saw it as practical, not beautiful (whatever the hell that meant). It was a body that worked for him and suited him…

...but sexy?

He knew he had nice muscles and a good solid bone structure. That had to be good.

_Ummm..._

Zoro peered into the dark eyes that scowled back at him through the looking glass.

Maybe if he looked at himself in the same way that he looked at other men; the way the idiot cook looked at women.

_Until now. _

Zoro sniggered. The Zoro in the mirror looked equally smug.

_Ok. Here goes nothing._

He peered into the glass again and imagined that he was looking at another man – a man that he was wondering if he would like to fuck.

Nice skin – dark and healthy looking. Stocky, so he wouldn't pass out in bed… but too heavy for Zoro's tastes. The guy in the mirror looked like a broody thug. He wasn't ugly, but his face was overly masculine and his body was just… not right. He preferred long, elegant lines. Not soft men, that was for sure – just lean and toned. The man in the mirror had too much muscle. He was also too serious, his strong brows knitting together in a pensive, concentrated glare. Strangely enough, the swordsman was always attracted to the outgoing, bold ones - merry lovers and fighters both.

For a second he was startled into stillness by the gruff apparition, but then he smiled and the hardened features melted.

_Well, that was strange, but it didn't really help much._

Zoro blinked and re-focussed on the hulking, tanned presence in the mirror. He saw his own body again and re-assessed it. Not enough muscle, by far. He had a long way to go before he could deal the blows that would fell Mihawk.

_So...  
><em>  
>His best bits were the muscles and strong lines of bone and looking rough was his thing, so… the less he wore the sexier he would look.<p>

_Easy._

Zoro grabbed a blue singlet from his clean clothes pile and threw it over his head. He tousled his hair a bit and then grabbed a pair of boots to finish off his look.

He cast one last glance at his retreating figure as he left the room. Shoulders, pectorals and forearms displayed to perfection. That ought to do it.

Whatever happened today, it was going to be weird.

-xxx-

Zoro trained until he started to get just a little sweaty and then went to the kitchen to get something to eat. He knew from experience that there was something magical about that sheen of moisture on dark, coffee-rich skin and his plan was to start on the cook early.

As he strode across the deck toward the galley, Chopper bounded up beside him.

"Morning Zoro! Did you sleep well?"

"Hmmf," Zoro replied, patting the little doctor on the head.

"Good!" Chopper beamed, running ahead to get the door. A cloud of steam rolled out behind him and Zoro was made even damper by the wave of moist air as he stepped inside.

The kitchen was hung with all manner of herbs and spices from Boydstold Island, a place that seemed (from Sanji's jumping up and down) to have more herbs and spices than all the rest of the Grand Line put together. The mist seemed to be coming from a large bamboo steamer with many towering layers. Sanji was juggling several and unloading dumplings, sweet buns and steamed rice balls.

It took a little while for Sanji to see him through the haze, but when he did, there was a reaction. He didn't gasp or stand there like a stunned mullet but there was a reaction; a subtle alteration in his course across the kitchen, a little flutter of his eyelids and a slight parting of his lips. It was enough.

Zoro slid down onto a bench and arranged himself in a nice comfy sleeping position.

"Oi, wake me when breakfast is ready," he said, to anyone who was listening.

Not that this was really necessary; Luffy made sure everyone knew when meals were served. "Follow the screaming and chewing noises," seemed to work most of the time. The steam continued to dampen his clothes and create beads of moisture on his skin. After a while he could feel someone looking at him and he opened one eye just a crack.

The cook was standing at the sink with a dishtowel tucked into his belt just staring at the swordsman.

_Heh._

Zoro stretched and opened his eyes,

"What ero-cook?"

Sanji blinked and turned away, back to the chaos of the fifteen separate dishes he seemed to be preparing at once. It was at that moment that Luffy realised that breakfast was on the way and from then the meal was a blur. A hearty crew of Straw Hats piled in to the room, ate, thanked Sanji and poured back out again leaving the cook and the swordsman alone in the suddenly quiet and humid room.

Zoro adjusted his sword belt slowly and deliberately then lay back down, stretching out across the bench seat.

"You going to help me or what?" Sanji huffed from the other side of the room.

"What?" Zoro said, suppressing a grin.

"Get drying shithead," Sanji responded, just a little tension beginning to show in his voice.

Zoro allowed the wet tea towel to land on him and then slowly got up. He strode over to Sanji and took a dish and began to dry.

Sanji gaped for a full minute and then finally went back to washing up. His rolled up sleeves were slowly becoming soaked but he didn't stop to push them back up.

Zoro leaned against the bench and studiously created a pile of dry dishes. Once he was finished, he walked towards the door,

"Oi, Marimo," Sanji called out, just as Zoro was about to leave the room.

"What?" Zoro turned, once he had controlled the twitching smile that made his lips itch.

"Can you roll my sleeves up?" Sanji asked, still facing the sink of water.

"They're wet anyway, why don't you roll them up?" Zoro teased, sensing the cook's blush through his curtain of hair.

"Fine!" Sanji snapped, but before he could move his arms out of the soapy water, Zoro was standing behind him. He chuckled breathily in the cook's ear and reached his arms around the slighter man to meet in front of his waist. He rolled up one of the cook's sleeves and then the other, stopping only once to blow a few fine strands of golden hair away from his face. Sanji stood completely still, it seemed as if he had stopped breathing.

"Better?" Zoro asked softly.

"Yes," Sanji replied, barely audible.

Zoro chuckled and moved his arms away, stepping back and giving Sanji room to breathe. Sanji sagged just a tiny bit and then took an unnecessarily long drag on his cigarette.

"Later, ero," Zoro called out, leaving a lightly pink and ever so slightly wobbly cook to finish his smoke and contemplate what the hell *exactly* was going on.

-xxx-


	2. Chapter 2

-xxx-

Sanji had asked Zoro to roll up his sleeves. It was simple, effective and actually quite nice. He had to hand it to the cook, for all his blundering, he was pretty smooth.

The swordsman indulged in a minor strut as he returned to the crow's nest. His body was still limber from training and he chuckled to himself feeling confident and powerful. A steady breeze cooled his damp skin and ruffled his hair.

So this was sexy. Hmm…

It seemed to have worked, anyway. Sanji had reacted in a major way. He had frozen on the spot and then practically melted, Zoro had never seen anything like it. The way that Sanji's breath had caught, the way his body had swayed just ever so slightly towards him…

This sexy thing was pretty good.

The power it gave him was strange, but he was happy with it. It was yet another pleasant surprise that his body had in store for him, another tool in his arsenal, hidden away to be discovered at the perfect time.

…but even with his recently discovered sex appeal… _Sanji?_ He was always on about women and flowers and shit like that! Could he really be interested in the broody thug that Zoro had seen in the mirror?

Then again, it wasn't always that simple. The swordsman was gay and he didn't exactly fit the 'type'. Another chuckle. He'd had some pretty fun times 'explaining' that to people in the past. Plus, there was no denying that Sanji had been perving on him! The long looks and hesitant glances that had made Zoro's eyebrows twitch so much they nearly crawled off his head all made sense now.

Ero-cook perving, ne? What a surprise.

Now that he thought about it, it was kind of obvious.

Zoro finally lifted up the hatch and hauled himself into the crow's nest. He selected a large weight and started doing some cross work to strengthen his back.

So now he was sure that Sanji wanted him.

What next?

He had never been able to beat Sanji (well not consistently anyway) and now after all this time, to discover something so new about the cook was almost surreal. Maybe he could use this to take advantage next time they fought. What else would he learn? The possibilities were endless!

A thin shiver of excitement ran down his spine. _Sanji_. In a moment of fantasy he finally allowed himself the luxury of undressing the cook in his mind. He had seen love-cook's long strong legs; his toned abs and lats to die for… but there were secrets still to discover. He would have a tight ass with dimples perfect for holding on… twin peaks of chiselled hip bones rising from the cream canvas of his lightly freckled skin… a soft wet moan when he couldn't bite his lip any longer… How good he would taste… Hmmm…

Zoro licked his lips.

Not long until dinner.

-xxx-

Sanji stood at the sink and unconsciously choked a squeegee to death. The feeling of the swordsman's breath, sweet and moist on his neck, overwhelmed him. Where Zoro's arms brushed the cook's, his skin was soft even though it was so thinly layered over hard muscle. Sanji hadn't expected that. He could feel the slight heat of his presence still…

He relived the moment again, feeling Zoro's heat behind him. Two strong brown arms reached together and Sanji was almost in an embrace. He wanted to lean back, to press his body into that embrace… Zoro would growl and pull them closer; his soft breaths would be replaced with determined kisses…

Sanji looked down at his hands, released his captive squeegee and pulled the plug. He wasn't going to get any more done this morning at this rate anyhow. He turned around and leaned back on the sink, lost in thought.

This craving… No, this _distraction_ had grown on him. Preferring women, he didn't even realise that it was happening until it was too late. He wrestled and fought and argued with Zoro every day and the fire in their encounters awoke in him something much more primal, something unexpected …something a little scary.

It was the fighting that had clued him in to it. When they launched into a fight, loosing all sense of anything outside each other, it was the most passionate, intimate and hot experience. Once the thought had entered his head, it just wouldn't leave. Sanji went from being annoyed by the shitty-swordsman just breathing in and out to wanting to tear his clothes off in two weeks flat. And now this! A lot of the things that Zoro said and did took on a different layer of meaning.

'Ero-cook.' 'Lovely bastard.' 'Bite me.'

Could Zoro be _flirting_ with him?

_More likely just fucking with me._

But that touch, those eyes, that body… Ugh! It was impossible to tell with that cricket pitch head! He was just so damn random!

_Ok. I have to think clearly about this_, Sanji told his rampaging libido, fear and rage.

The swordsman was a perverse bastard… but he was also the king of serious. Nami said that was why he was so stupid. Sanji didn't quite understand this but he thought it was because most of the time Zoro had no idea what the hell was going on, so he didn't know why he was being serious anyway. He wouldn't joke about something like this though. Would he?

_Shitty Marimo!_

Why did he have to have such a perfect ass? Anyone else could have had that ass, but no – it had to be Zoro. Without that, he might not have noticed the broad steady shoulders, the smouldering dark eyes and the solid bulge that brushed Sanji's ass when they stood so close… The cook bit his lip. Even when he felt so turned on by Zoro, he was still so annoying! The emotions mixed together and he felt a kind of lustful infuriation that made him crave the swordsman's presence and touch even more. This, in turn, pissed him off.

That lout thought he was so clever! The swagger in his walk and the cocky grin drove the cook mad.

Sanji had no idea what actual game Zoro was playing; the physical intimacy, the suggestiveness… it was nothing like he had ever seen from moss head before. Whatever he was doing, Sanji would be ready for it. He would not be caught out again and left speechless as Zoro's body lingered all too close…

"Smug… Sexy…" the frustrated cook grumbled as he left the kitchen and headed towards the men's quarters.

_I'm going to get you, you lump of dinosaur meat!_

If it weren't so damned annoying, it would have been funny. _Zoro_ wanted to scare _him_ with some sort of homoerotic showdown? If only the swordsman knew what he was up against… but he didn't and Sanji could not wait to see his face when he realised.

The cook finally cracked a smile as he opened the door to the men's bedroom and slumped down onto his bed. He raised one lethargic hand and fumbled on his bedside table (it was really a box that used to contain Nami's Mikan but it served the purpose well) for cigarettes and a lighter. Having secured his aim, he chose one long white cylinder at random and lit it, delighting in the curls of smoke that wafted gently and vanished in the currents of the sea breeze blowing through the latched window.

After a finishing the cigarette, Sanji put it out fastidiously and then rose to consider his options. There was no one else in the men's sleeping quarters; Sanji had picked this quiet spot in an effort to churn the morning's happenings through his subconscious. So far, he had only really managed to summarise the situation.

Zoro. Had noticed him staring. Had almost embraced him. Was strutting about like a peacock.

As sexy as Zoro was (and he was licking-the-salt-off-your-fingers-dreaming-of-his-skin hot), Sanji couldn't let him get away with it. Marimo thought that he could just swan in and get everything to go his way.

How wrong he was.

The cook stood up and crossed the wooden floor. As he was alone, he stripped down to his blue silk boxers. He selected an outfit from a rather overfull cupboard (he really had to ask Franky to build a new wardrobe) and as he returned he caught his reflection in the full-length mirror on the far side of the room. Thinking of Zoro's poor attempt at sexual tension that morning (it was only effective because Sanji wasn't expecting it), the cook strode to the mirror.

The temperature was low due to the wind but the sun was still shining away. A puddle of latticed sunshine pooled at the bottom of the window, picking out the grain in the well-worn floorboards.

Zoro thought he could get the last word, did he?

Sanji dressed. His reflection was bold and confident in green. His shirt – nearly see through but just (tantalisingly) not, his black pants – just clinging in the right places and his slightly ruffled hair - all perfect. He tapped the toe of his right shoe twice, flicked his collar up and winked at the mirror.

Mr. Prince was ready to tango.

-xxx-

Zoro checked that all his vital bits were in place. Shirt, nicely open. Legs defined with a tight pair of pants, showing his ass and everything else in between. If close to naked was his most sexy then this pair of pants were _it._

He didn't have a mirror but it would be good enough.

He leapt out of the crow's nest, flipped once and landed on his feet on the deck. A nice cloud of dust rose around him as he thudded down.

"You're late shitty bastard," Sanji called from the kitchen door.

"Che, didn't know you were waiting," Zoro smirked. He brushed past Sanji and entered the chaotic kitchen. Luffy was balancing three bowls of hot soup on his head and trying to convince Usopp to shoot them off. The rest of the straw hats sat about in a mixture of amusement (Robin, Chopper, Franky) and exasperation (Nami).

In a whirlwind of laughter, food and shouting, dinner came and went. The girls were the last to leave, giggling at a private joke as they filed out. Once all the distractions had left, Zoro let the silence between them grow. He smirked as Sanji tidied up.

"What are you trying, bastard?" the blond asked quietly.

"Nothing," Zoro replied. A smile itched at the corner of his mouth and he brushed it away.

"That's good because nothing is what you are getting. I might as well be here with a pile of shell fish," Sanji announced.

"Good for you," Zoro muttered.

"Don't mutter at me, idiot. Pay attention," Sanji strolled over and took Zoro's chin in his hands. Zoro looked startled but soon regained his composure.

"What?" the swordsman's voice was too quiet, his posture too calm. His eyebrow twitched once, then again.

"You don't know anything about seduction. You can't expect me to be interested if you just sit there like an overcooked rice ball!"

_What?_

Zoro scrambled for his wits as they scattered around him like leaves in the whirling autumn winds. This was not going the way he planned it.

"At least I don't bleed until I pass out every time I see a woman…" Not a great comeback but it might distract him.

_Seduction? What the hell!_

"I do not pass out!" Sanji bit.

"I have to step over you!" Zoro scrambled.

"As if you could," the cook scoffed.

"I'll do it right now," Zoro growled. Ok. Now he was getting into the swing of things, shouting and fighting with the cook made his blood boil. This was what he wanted to do…

Sanji held out one hand in Zoro's face in the universal language of STOP.

"This is not good Zoro. I told you that you needed help with your seduction technique. Well…" Sanji paused, making a big fuss about lighting a cigarette and taking forever, "I have had some success with rearranging faces so I could always try to help you out. Maybe if you looked less like a salivating gorilla then you would have more luck with seduction!"

Zoro moved forward, invading Sanji's personal space. Their heights were so similar that they looked eye to eye. The mixture of lust and adrenaline was heady; he thrilled with the singing of blood rushing in his ears…

"You don't like the way I look?" the pirate hunter breathed.

"Could be better," Sanji blew smoke into Zoro's face causing him to grimace in disgust.

"Don't poison me with your smoke."

"Get out of my face, lover."

No one moved.

Sanji took a long, deliberate drag on his cigarette and exhaled the entire lungful into Zoro's face in a huff.

"That's it!" Zoro growled.

In a flurry of motion, he grabbed Sanji's cigarette and pushed the cook's shoulders in order to knock him off balance and allow him to draw his swords. Sanji twisted his shoulders to let Zoro's weight pass him and kicked out to sweep the swordsman's legs away. He dropped the cigarette. Sanji's falling body prevented Zoro from drawing a blade and the neat twist of his hips tipped the swordsman's balance. They tumbled to the floor in an undignified heap.

Zoro struggled to regain control, he knew his ground fighting was better than the cook's - Sanji just struggled. After some heaving, Zoro's upper body strength won out and he pinned the cursing cook to the floor. In a heartbeat, even before he drew breath, Sanji bucked his hips and threw Zoro forward. The cook grabbed his arms and rolled, catching Zoro by surprise. Now their positions were reversed.

"Same old moves…" Sanji scoffed, straddling Zoro's hips with his sinewy legs.

Sanji reached out one long arm and put out the smouldering cigarette. He raised one pale eyebrow, Zoro couldn't tell what the expression was but he suspected he was about to be kicked.

"And yours are all new?"

Sanji's hands hovered over his shirtfront and he felt the buttons being undone one by one.

The cook's long fingers worked slowly down Zoro's chest popping each button in turn. He stroked Zoro's sensitive skin just lightly, causing the nerves to sparkle. The swordsman thrilled with the sensation, breathing in as Sanji undid the last button and twirled a single curl of green hair.

"New enough," Sanji whispered.

"Are you going to keep going?" Zoro asked, looking up at Sanji face. The golden fringe hid his eyes, but the swordsman could see his lips, red and moist.

Sanji's fingers ran across Zoro's chest, brushing his stomach and his nipples in turn. Zoro bucked his hips just a little and scowled at the momentary loss of control. Sanji's smiled,

"Depends…" Sanji teased, letting his fingers draw close to Zoro's hips and then away, "You going to be good?"

Zoro grinned, "You just wait."

The swordsman slowly coiled his leg behind the cook's knees.

"I've had enough waiting, thanks, so do something Zoro,"

"You don't need to tell me!" Zoro launched his body forward and rolled on top of the protesting cook.

Within a minute, Sanji was screaming with joy and indignity as Zoro tore every piece of clothing from his body with his teeth. Within ten minutes, Sanji didn't care about his clothes anymore. Ten minutes after that, well… you can ask anyone in the Grand Line. Trust me. They all heard.

…and the thought of taking advantage of the cook never entered Zoro's head. He would later claim to have been making a 'strategic move'.

We know better.

-xxx-


End file.
